People don't ask me for relationship advice, probably because they look at me, they meet my wife, and they see that I am the beneficiary of disproportionate dumb luck. But if I were asked, I would say you begin with compatibility. You want someone who shares your values, your expectations and assumptions about what a relationship is, someone whose strengths and weaknesses complement your own, but above all you want someone who gives you an instinctual feeling of ease, like you're rediscovering a long lost friend you somehow forgot, a familiar stranger you knew in another life. I would say that after compatibility the second half is compromise. You need someone you can talk to, argue with well, forgive and be forgiven by, you will want someone who understands themself, just as you will need to understand yourself in order to speak your heart and listen. Lastly I would say that yes, you will want some dumb luck, or maybe faith for the religious, because God only knows the shape of the future and the depths of our souls, but you'll navigate both of them together with a little luck and faith inshaallah.

--7 years since the awkward joyful delirious beginnings of a relationship. Alhamdulillah.

Jan 5 2020