What I did instead of studying for a midterm

Not I said the fly.
Not me, said the bee.
But wait, which is it? said the tit. Is it I or is it me?
I don’t know, said the sloe.
Me if there’s a comma, said the llama.
I is the formal term, said the pakaderm
No, I is normal, and me is street talk, said the armadillo.
That one doesn’t rhyme, said the manatee.
No one knew what he meant.
Yes it does, said the crocodile, who was looking for a fight.
Are you daft? said the manatee.
No, maybe, I don’t know, but I know that you’re a fat, stupid dolphin who isn’t really a dolphin but wears a dolphin suit only he’s so fat that it doesn’t fit right, said the crocodile.
That doesn’t make sense, said the manatee. How can I be a dolphin who’s not really a dolphin?
I will eat you! said the crocodile. He did, and it was messy.

What a fright, said the trilobite, after the crocodile had finished eating.
What were we talking about? said the rainbow trout.
Celtic lore, said the brontosaur.
Political gaffes, said a pair of giraffes.
Jimmy Fallon, said a chestnut stallion.
Achoo, said Pikachu, and shocked them all.
This stinks, said the lynx, walking out of the room.
I believe it was grammar, said the hammer shark. Not I. Not me. I wish we still had a manatee.
They’re so intelligent, agreed the Duke of Ghent.
Be quiet or I will eat you, Duke of Ghent! said the crocodile.
Finally someone in the crowd interposed.
It’s I if the person responding is the subject of a sentence, and me if they are an object. So if the question was, who wants to bake lemon meringue pie, then you would say, Not I. But if the question was, which of you did the witch-doctor see, the answer would be, not me.
Very good, said the rainbow trout. So what were the fly and the bee talking about?
But no one could remember, and eventually they got bored and ate the Duke of Ghent.