... because when I chase a girl I really like or love, it's because I can imagine myself marrying her and being happy with her forever---I know that's not how people normally do it, but that's always how it's been for me, ever since late high school.

and I can't possibly promise to marry anyone or start a family in a world as fucked up as this one until I've found my place working in causes to better it; I wouldn't be able to look my children in their eyes without feeling a little sadness for them or seeing in their eyes a little disappointment in myself, and children feel that sort of thing even when you don't think they do, and they shouldn't have to